party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My dick has a subreddit
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.