could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
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wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.