Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
