Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
