I can tuck mytits in my pants
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my liver is dry heaving
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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