we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
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I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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