He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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