Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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