Kareoke will never be a sober sport
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
