We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
