I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My balls are so social today.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize