Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
