There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
