He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
