Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
