Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
