he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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