I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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