Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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