hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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