she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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