it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize