You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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