So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
