soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
