I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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