hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
