love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
