I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
