I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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