2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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