i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
