I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
