found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
