I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Your tits are I can't wait for
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
