He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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