He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
