Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
