when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
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I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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