Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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