You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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