kristin has been a bad kristin
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He? As in you personified your dick?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
