HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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