If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
