I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
