the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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