so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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