is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
