Im at strip club and am horny
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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