Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
