tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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