Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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