please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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