It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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