This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
