Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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