Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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