Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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